Make a Wish

Katherine and Daniel got married on Saturday, October 18, 2008.

Theirs was a lovely ceremony (in my humble opinion!)

Their reception included some familiar ideas: Tables named for favorite restaurants, bottles of wine as favors, gorgeous orange stargazer lilies and roses.

There were also some unique elements, my favorite of which was the memory board with photos of their parents and each set of grandparents on their respective wedding days. (Daniel and Katherine have a legacy of longevity in marriage, and we thanked their parents for their example during the ceremony.)

But there was something in their printed program that really caught my attention. I was so impressed, that I want to share it here ... and maybe someone else will use this idea in the future. (I believe that's "paying it forward.")

On the last page of the program, Katherine and Daniel said, "In honor of all our guests here today, we have made a charitable donation to the Make-A-Wish foundation. This gift will help make a special child's wish come true. Thank you for helping us make our wishes come true and joining us on our wedding day."

What a beautiful idea.

And ... congratulations to the newlyweds, Katherine and Daniel!

... and I'll be bossy ...

Rehearsals are an important part of wedding preparation. Not only does the rehearsal allow the couple, and the bridal party, to practice "getting to the altar," but it also allows the participants to get caught up in the emotion, or make mistakes, prior to the ceremony.

For instance, the father of the bride may be surprised to become misty-eyed as he answers the question, "Who presents this woman in marriage?" (And if his eyes are full of tears, he may accidentally step on the bride's train. Oh, no!)

Or, the maid of honor may drop the wedding ring. If happens during rehearsal, with the "practice ring," we all get to laugh and say, "Well, at least we got that mishap out of the way!"

I'm very hands-on as an officiant. I enjoy conducting the rehearsal, not only to make sure that everyone knows what they're going to do on wedding day, but also so I get to meet the family and key participants. If the groomsmen like to kid around, or the flower girl is going to cry and refuse to walk down the aisle, I like to know ahead of time.

So I always start the rehearsal by introducing myself and the purpose. "Hello! My name is Reverend Jeri Murphy, and I have the honor of officiating at tomorrow's wedding ceremony. And today, I am going to be a little bossy."

So there. I've told everyone that if they don't pay attention, I'll get after them. Not so much because I like to be in control -- LOL! -- but, as I tell them, "I want to make sure that the bride and groom are so comfortable with what is going to happen on their wedding day, that they are not thinking about where people stand, or what comes next. They are only thinking, 'I am so glad to be here, marrying the love of my life.'"

This past Thursday, Rachelle and Andrew and a few of their dear friends and family members gathered at Frasinetti's Winery in Sacramento for rehearsal. There were stairs to be gracefully climbed, candles to be lit, rings to be exchanged, a kiss to be practiced (and practiced, and practiced; yay!) ... and we practiced, questioned, adjusted, and practiced again until Andrew and Rachelle felt comfortable. (We even talked about what we would do if the train came by during the ceremony. It did, and we were prepared!)

Due to our preparation, and because Andrew and Rachelle are such a perfect match, Friday's wedding went without a hitch -- except, or course, for the "I now pronounce you husband and wife" hitch.

Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Weiss!

Ooops!

I'm pretty good at putting a "positive spin" on most wedding mishaps: Rain, on the East Coast, means "blessings raining down from heaven." If the candles don't stay lit during the candle lighting ceremony, we "use our imagination." You get the picture.

However, I have no idea how I would handle this ... hopefully, I'll never have to find out!

http://www.metacafe .com/watch/ 1869054/best_ man_makes_ the_worst_ mistake/

Giggling,
Rev. Jeri

Love is love

Wow! What a wonderful Saturday for weddings!

October 11, 2008 was the wedding day for two beautiful couples: Sam and Robyn, who were married at Orchard Creek Lodge, Sun City Lincoln Hills, and Deborah and Amy, who were married at Old St. Mary's Chapel in Rocklin.

And these two couples had one very important commonality: Sam and Robyn have been a couple for nearly 20 years; Deborah and Amy for over 12 years. The strength of their commitment, in spite of the many challenges they have faced as same-sex couples, is an inspiration to me. I hope that all the couples whose weddings I perform will have as much love, commitment, fortitude and joy as these four ladies.

My own belief: God does not discriminate. And neither does love. And that's why I'm delighted and honored to perform the ceremonies that "legalize" their love.

And that's the closest to a political statement I will make on this blog. I promise!

Blessings,
Rev. Jeri

AFWPI and networking

Although I think of myself as a friendly person, my "shy" side emerges whenever I attend a networking function. Perhaps it's my middle-aged memory that trips me up, or the fact that I get a little tongue-tied when meeting new people in the wedding business. Whatever the reason, networking isn't my forte.

However, I do enjoy attending the AFWPI monthly mixers, where I get to connect with other wedding vendors and, often, put faces with the names of people with whom I swap emails!

This Tuesday's mixer was held at Le Rivage, a new wedding site on the river -- in the south part of Sacramento, off I-5. I had arranged to meet my new friend, Della (a new wedding officiant), at the mixer and introduce her to some of the AFWPI members. So many friendly people came over to say hello to us; I hope Della enjoyed meeting them. (And if she remembers ANY of their names, she gets extra memory points!)

The weather was perfect, the music was provided by a live jazz band, Caribbean Jazz Q-tet, with Emcee duties going to Music on the Move, another of my favorite DJ companies. (Doug, Doug and Dara are some of the most fun and professional DJs I've ever worked with! PLUS, they always provide me with a great sound system, so all the guests can hear my ceremonies. Thanks, Music on the Move!)

The mixer was also an opportunity for me to catch up on some business news ... Shannon has moved over to Le Rivage, as has Kellie; Amanda goes on maternity leave in about a month; videographer Eric Leas (of Acti-Video Productions) and his lovely wife expect their baby early in November. Lots of news to catch up on!

The food was provided by Scott's Seafood, which is affiliated with Le Rivage. (As a vegan, I didn't eat anything ... but saw many big smiles by those who were eating. Looked like an endorsement of the food!)

So ... this month's networking was a fun experience. I really, really enjoy so many of the members of AFWPI -- both as great people and as professionals. And as always, I am so glad I attended the mixer!

For anyone planning a wedding, be sure to look at AFWPI's website for a directory of great wedding professionals! (And don't forget to check out the "links" page on my website: www.RevJeriMurphy.com. If they're on my list, they're professionals who do great work!)

Rain, Rain, Stay Away!

Despite the weather forecasters' warnings of rain, yesterday was a beautiful day for weddings!

Lou-Anne and Sarah had an intimate and beautiful ceremony at the Radisson Hotel in Sacramento. It was an elegant black and white affair. They presented their lovely mothers with red roses during the ceremony, as an expression of love and appreciation. Tears flowed; it was very touching. Although the candle lighting portion of the ceremony was a challenge during rehearsal -- we were outside and the wind was a little too boisterous! -- it was a breeze (no pun intended!) during the ceremony, held inside the Radisson.

Two beautiful ladies, joined in heart and soul, and now legally wed!

Later in the day, I drove to Sunset Whitney Country Club in Rocklin to perform the wedding ceremony for Kari and Clint. We were delighted when the sun peeked out from between clouds. A little bit of humor, and a few tears, during the short ceremony kept everyone's attention. (Thanks to Mr. DJ Mike Ragan for providing the sound -- and later the entertainment!)

And Clint and Kari are newly-wed!

Happy Anniversary, Carl and Nicole!

October 2, 2007 was a beautiful, cool Tuesday morning.

I met Carl and Nicole at the Lyons Lake trail head (in Desolation Wilderness). We checked our gear -- lunch, enough water, wedding ceremony binder, Native American wedding vase -- and then began our adventure. A wedding hike, to Lyons Lake!

It was a great and invigorating hike. We stopped periodically, not only to catch our breath, but also to enjoy the beautiful scenery. Two hours later, after reaching our destination, we changed into our wedding clothes, set up the video camera, took a deep breath (!!), and had a wedding ceremony!

Nicole had purchased a hand-made, one-of-a-kind Native American Wedding Vase (which Carl carefully carried up in his backpack), and we incorporated a water ritual in the ceremony.

The vase has two spouts, one from which Nicole drank, and one from which Carl drank during the ceremony -- in that order. It is symbolic of them becoming one in marriage, and represents the love and strength of their union. The vase is kept secure for the duration of the marriage, and later passed along to another couple with the wish that their marriage will be strong as well.

To quote from the ceremony: "The vase is unique, just as your love for each other is unlike any other. May it always be a symbol of your love and all that you hope for in the strong marriage you will build together. May you always do your best to keep this vase safe, secure and unbroken, just as you will cherish and safeguard your loving relationship with each other."

Because we were the only three present, Carl made a video of the ceremony to share with their guests during the reception to be held a few days later. (It was a unique experience for me, talking to the camera rather than an audience!)

After changing back into our hiking clothes and enjoying a quiet, reflective lunch, we hiked back down to our cars. It was a beautiful day; an experience I will never forget!

Happy 1st Anniversary, Carl and Nicole!

Jeri