Falling In Love is Like Owning a Dog

For lovers and others who love dogs:

FALLING IN LOVE IS LIKE OWNING A DOG
(an epithalamion by Taylor Mali)

First of all, it's a big responsibility,
especially in a city like New York.
So think long and hard before deciding on love.
On the other hand, love gives you a sense of security:
when you're walking down the street late at night
and you have a leash on love
ain't no one going to mess with you.
Because crooks and muggers think love is unpredictable.
Who knows what love could do in its own defense?

On cold winter nights, love is warm.
It lies between you and lives and breathes
and makes funny noises.
Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs.
It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.

Love doesn't like being left alone for long.
But come home and love is always happy to see you.
It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life,
but you can never be mad at love for long.

Is love good all the time? No! No!
Love can be bad. Bad, love, bad! Very bad love.

Love makes messes.
Love leaves you little surprises here and there.
Love needs lots of cleaning up after.
Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.
Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper
and swat love on the nose,
not so much to cause pain,
just to let love know Don't you ever do that again!

Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk.
Because love loves exercise.
It runs you around the block and leaves you panting.
It pulls you in several different directions at once,
or winds around and around you
until you're all wound up and can't move.

But love makes you meet people wherever you go.
People who have nothing in common but love
stop and talk to each other on the street.

Throw things away and love will bring them back,
again, and again, and again.
But most of all, love needs love, lots of it.
And in return, love loves you and never stops.

Shelton's Cakes and Bella Bloom Flowers

Jonathan and Emmile were married this evening inside the beautiful Vizcaya Pavilion in midtown Sacramento. They wisely chose to move their ceremony inside; it was 40 degrees at their 6:00 p.m. start time. (Whoa! Thank you for that wise decision!)

An intimate feeling was created by luminaries, which lined the aisle and stood on the floor behind the wedding party and bridal couple. The lights were dimmed, and twinkle lights and candelabras added to the ambiance.

The 20-minute ceremony was magical, and included the love story of Jonathan and Emmile, a reading by their sister-in-law (newly wed to the best man, Jonathan's brother), personal vows, and a lovely gift of roses to their mothers.

The ceremony concluded with the African American tradition of jumping the broom, using a walis (Filipino broom) to combine their two cultures. As they symbolically left the past and stepped into married life, the guests wished them well with an enthusiastic cry of "Jump!"

Their wedding cake was beautiful, created by Shelton's Wedding Cakes and dressed by Vicki and crew from Bella Bloom Flowers. Here are a couple of photos, taken by their delighted officiant (me!)

Congratulations to the newlyweds, Jonathan and Emmile Brack!

Blessings,
Rev. Jeri

Granite Bay Golf Club -- A Wedding Venue to LOVE!

I've performed a number of weddings at Granite Bay Golf Club. It's a beautiful venue and Heidi and her staff are very attentive. I'm always so delighted to be there.

Last night, I had the pleasure of being part of a Bridal Open House held in the clubhouse. I met many engaged couples, as well as some of their parents, who will be celebrating their wedding there.

I also got to spend a few hours with some friends, all delightful wedding professionals. To name a few:

Lara Kiniris, The Calligraphy Girl. She's the one to see for your invitations, envelopes, place cards, certificates -- and lots more!

Lora Ward, from A Day To Remember. I think the wedding coordinator has the hardest job in this business, but Lora always delivers a Fabulous event. And she has a great sense of humor!

Mimi and Company dressed the tables and chair covers. WOW!

Cathy Brooks, from Visual Impact Design, provided stunning centerpieces, flowers, candles, glassware -- all incredibly beautiful!

John Shelton, of Shelton's Wedding Cake Designs, brought samples of some of his cakes. Delicious to the eye and the taste buds!

Speaking of delicious temptations, Jim Tenney and his Chocolate Fountains of Sacramento had many visitors. Who could resist chocolate-dipped fresh pineapple, strawberries, and other goodies?! Not I!

April Schmitt, of All About Honeymoons, had some enticing information about warm destinations for honeymooning. And parents were interested in a post-wedding get-away!

Chris Terry, Encore Photo Booths, let us have a little fun! (And he very cleverly included a great pic of him and his beautiful fiance, Shannon, on the printout. Congrats, you two!)

Jeff Sharpe of Sharpe Photographers, and Mike Jensen, Jensen Wedding Videos, each had some of their amazing work on display. Two of the nicest guys in this business.

(Thank you, Jeff, for the photo for this blog. And thank you, Mike, for bringing your DVD player and screen so couples could "see me in action!")

Celeste from Larkspur Landing (where your guests will want to stay after the wedding), Jennifer from JFlops ("Fabulously Fun Flip Flops"), Todd with CTS Limos, and Definitions Beauty were also part of the open house.

A big Thank You to Heidi Robinson, of Granite Bay G.C., for coordinating such a great event! I look forward to performing many weddings in Granite Bay in 2010 and 2011!

Rev. Jeri

Ten weeks later ...

It's been a long time since my last post. And for good reason.

Ten weeks ago, my sweetheart, partner and love, Richard Hess, died. Suddenly. There are no words to adequately convey the emotional journey I have traveled since that time.

What I do want to say, today, is this:

I ALWAYS knew Rich loved me, and I honestly believe he knew how much I loved him. We expressed our feelings daily, in word and action. Even when we did not see eye-to-eye, we always knew our love was strong. And we worked -- individually and together -- to keep it that way.

Our time together was far too short (in my opinion -- but, then, I'm not God). I am so grateful for the time we did have, the memories we shared, and the love that continues. If I could do it all over again, I would not change a thing.

Why do I write about my loss? Because I hope that anyone who reads these words will be inspired to LOVE FULLY. True love is ABSOLUTELY worth the risk of pain or loss.

Hey, Sailor. I love you. Thank you for being such an amazing part of my life.
JT

Vows ... still meaningful after all these years?

This evening I attended a networking mixer for AFWPI (Association for Wedding Professionals International) at the Old Sugar Mill in Clarksburg. While I'm not really fond of "networking" per se, I do enjoy "visiting" with my colleagues, and I was glad to have the opportunity to connect with friends tonight.

One highlight was my delightful chat with Shannon Cosgrove-Rivas, of Flourish, and her hubby, Jim. As she posted on Facebook today, she recently came across the personal vows she wrote for their wedding back in 1994.

Naturally, I was interested in hearing more, since Vows are such an important part of what I do.

Shannon and Jim said that they sat down together and talked about what they wanted to say to each other in their vows. Then they wrote the beginning and the end of their vows together; they each personalized the "middle" part of the vows, which they didn't share until their wedding day. What a beautiful idea!

And they kept a copy, so when they renew their vows in five years (on their 20th anniversary), they'll be able to use their original vows. (I'm sure they'll add a bit; imagine how much their love and commitment has grown in the past 15-years-plus-two-kids.)

One thing I really loved about Shannon and Jim's story is that, back in 1994, they did exactly what I encourage couples to do today: Sit down with each other and talk about what is important to each of you to say (and hear) in your vows.

Of course, many (if not most) couples choose to "repeat after me" rather than write their own original vows. Which is still beautiful, especially if they've thoughtfully chosen to repeat vows that are meaningful to them.

(Post-wedding, I always send a copy of their vows to the newlyweds, with the encouragement that they "renew" their vows annually by saying them aloud to each other on each anniversary. )

Thank you, Shannon and Jim, for sharing your story. I'm eager to see your vows ... and, as promised, I won't post them!

PS: I don't have any recent photos of Shannon's floral art. Check out her website for some stunning stuff!!

Hugs,
Rev. Jeri

Michael and Victoria got married!

And I had the delightful honor of officiating at their wedding, held yesterday at David Girard Vineyards in Placerville.

This fun couple came from San Francisco, where Michael owns a club in the Mission District. Victoria has incredible attention to detail. No wonder. She and I share the same birthday; we Taurus Babes are organized! She was a delight to work with, and Michael was charming and kept us smiling!

They purposely chose not to have their wedding in The City, as the weather might be too cold.
Obviously, that wasn't a problem in Placerville yesterday!

Although the guests were not accustomed to the heat, Michael and Victoria were prepared to offer respite. The guests each received a square fan, on one side of which was the program and on the other, a hand-drawn picture of "Aunt Vicky" and "Uncle Mikey" getting married, with all the guests crying tears of joy. Suh-weet!

Chilled bottles of water, another thoughtful touch, also helped keep the guests cool. And they were obviously happy to celebrate this couple's nuptials! I suspect that a fun party occurred after the "I do's" were done! I'm eager to see their photos; I know their photographer, Christina Diane (from San Francisco) got some great ones!

A delightful couple, a beautiful wedding, and a great beginning to their many years of marriage.

Congratulations, Michael and Victoria!

Pretty things ... and changes coming.

I've been pretty lax about posting on my blog ... as you've probably noticed.

I'll soon be doing my wedding blogging through a different program (WordPress.org; shhhh, don't tell Blogger.) Supposed to be better for my marketing efforts, etc. So far, I haven't figured it out -- but I have a great webmaster who will help me. Thanks bunches, RJ from The SiteBarn!

So this blog is going to change a bit. Instead of focusing on wedding-related topics, I'm going to write about whatever I'm interested in at the time. Which, of course, means I'll be posting a lot more photos!

I hope my pics will inspire, surprise, and amuse. Not necessarily in that order!

Today's post and photos:

My sweetheart has taken up quilting. He's very creative, and can look at a quilt (or, even, a photo of a quilt) and figure out how to reproduce it. I am so impressed!

So yesterday, when we went to the State Fair, we naturally headed for the shopping area (to look at sewing machines) and then to the California Creative Arts building to look at the prize-winning quilts.

W-O-W!! Here is a sampling of the beautiful handiwork ....

Quality of Life

Take a look at this beautiful quilt!

(I spy Carrieanna in the photo; do you see her, standing on the right?)

The quilt is being raffled off in Monterey on Saturday, September 19, 2009, during the Multiple Sclerosis Quality of Life ("MSQLP") Walk-n-Roll Walkathon.

All proceeds go to MSQLP, which has been a true blessing in our lives.

And Carrieanna has blessed many others there, with her candor as well as her positive outlook: "Anything is Possible."

As I say, we are truly blessed ....

Thank you, Vicki and friends ("The Flying Needles") for sharing your quilting talent and showing your love!

And if YOU are feelin' like a winner, I have raffle tickets to sell. Wouldn't you LOVE to own this quilt?!

With gratitude,
Rev. Jeri

You are kidding ... aren't you?

A recent conversation I had with another wedding vendor (and I'll call him "Vendor" to preserve his anonymity):

Vendor: Hey, I'm going to perform the ceremony for my best friend!

RJM: Wow! That's great! (Big smile!)

Vendor: Yeah, it's going to be a blast! I'm planning to wear a tuxedo -- just the shirt and jacket. No pants, just my underwear.

RJM: (Surprised silence.)

Vendor: Either that, or I'm going to wear a bear's head, or ... (he mentioned another outrageous costume; I forget what it was).

RJM: You're kidding, right? (Smaller smile.)

Vendor: Oh, no! He's my best friend, and it's going to be a huge party!

RJM: (Little smile; what could I say?)

Okay, maybe I'm old-fashioned.
Maybe I'm conservative.
Maybe I'm just thinking of my own comfort zone.
Maybe I'm wondering what the Bride thinks of this idea -- or if she even knows.
Maybe I'm thinking of the wedding photos, and how this guy is going to stand out in ALL the ceremony pictures.

Or ... maybe I'm thinking of the importance of the wedding ceremony, and wondering why anyone would want to turn it into a comedy routine, rather than a strong foundation upon which the couple will build their marriage.

Humor in a wedding ceremony? ABSOLUTELY! (IF it's appropriate for the couple, that is.)

Am I a stuffy person? Um, no. (At least I don't think so!) I like to have fun, and I've been called the "Irreverent Reverend" more than once. And I like that! ;)

But a bear's head? Or half a tuxedo? I don't think so.

(And I hope someone tells the Bride. Somehow, I think she would want to know.)

Rev. Jeri

At last ...

It's been a long time since I've posted. Much has happened -- lots of good things! -- and I'll be sharing ...

Here's one of the two best things: I got to spend the Fourth of July weekend with all three of my children, and my granddaughter! Yup, it was the first time in nearly 6 years that we have all been together.

The occasion? Family reunion, this year in Springville, Utah. We had thunderclouds, a little rain, mosquitoes, long (and rather eventful) drives -- and a great time!

Courage campaign

You may have already seen this video. And if you've read my blog, you know how I feel about same sex marriages.

Let's not only sign this petition, let us also hold in our own hearts the belief that love will prevail, regardless of sexual orientation (or color, or age, or health or wealth or anything else).

On behalf of Amy and Deborah (together over 12 years), Pierre and Bob (over 17 years), Robyn and Sam (nearly 20 years), and Lenaea and Michelle, Sarah and Lou, Lori and Mary, Leon and Carlos, and all the other couples whose love knows no boundaries, thank you.

Blessings,
Rev. Jeri

My book has arrived!

I am so excited to announce that I'm a published author! I've written a wedding book, "Celebration Ceremonies, The Perfect Words for Your Wedding Day!" and it just arrived yesterday.

Now, before you head over to Border's to purchase multiple copies (!!), I must confess that it's really more of a marketing tool than something you'd want to curl up with and read before a toasty fire. Unless, of course, you love looking at wedding photos -- most of which include me! -- and pondering ceremony ideas.

In the past when I've met with couples -- that no-cost, no-obligation, no-pressure first meeting -- I would bring my black binder which includes parts of the ceremony, samples of what I might wear, and a few pages of "kudos" from happy couples.

However, after putting together a life-story book in honor of my boyfriend's birthday last year, I decided to create a book about weddings. I used an online bookmaking program, Blurb.com, and I HIGHLY recommend it. It was so much fun, easy to use, and the finished product looks great! (In my humble opinion, of course. LOL!)

So, thank you for letting me brag on myself! (And if you're a Sacramento couple, looking for a wedding officiant, give me a call. If we meet, I'll let you look at my book!)

Blessings,
Rev. Jeri
www.RevJeriMurphy.com

A sweet expression of love!

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all feel this loving towards others, even if they are "different" from us?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rooyt3ptNco

Rev. Jeri

To love, cherish ... and obey?

Instead of exchanging rings ...

I read this on another blog, and I LOVE the idea:

Instead of doing a ring exchange, our officiant asked us to hold our hands over the other's heart and declare, "From my hand to your heart, I thee wed" which reminded us that love is an action. Our actions and what we do with our hands affects people's emotions. We must live every day choosing to love our partner and protecting and cherishing their heart and feelings.

It gave me goosebumps when I read it!

Anyone else done this? Or anything else very special and personal, while exchanging rings?

Rev. Jeri

(PS: Photo by Lifetime Photography by Bakari)

I Am Thriving . . .

(Warning: There are many exclamation points in this post, because I'm excited about this topic!)

One of my favorite annual events occurred at my house yesterday: Treasure Mapping!

Ummm, what is a Treasure Map, you ask? Where do you find one, or how do you make one? And why? Why spend an entire day (or, at least, many hours) cutting up magazines, and gluing words and pictures on a poster board?

I'll tell you why! Because Treasure Mapping is an imaginative, powerful and FUN way to create! (And I have my own success stories to prove it!)

Each year I invite some of my very best girlfriends to come to my house. I entice them with the promise of homemade minestrone soup, and I invite them to bring food to share. (And, naturally, we nibble throughout the day. Cookies and edamame and lemon cake; oh, my!)

Armed with poster board, glue sticks, scissors, magazines, a photo of ourselves, and big dreams, we create Treasure Maps. (You may know them as "Vision Boards," especially if you're familiar with the book "The Secret.")

We start with introductions. Most of the ladies already know each other; this year we have one new -- and very special -- addition to our group. My sweetheart's daughter, Carrieanna, joined us for the first time. And by her enthusiastic response, and the great welcome she got from the group, I'm guessing she'll be back! (Plus, she created an amazing Treasure Map. I'll be eager to hear HER success stories!)

After a simple meditation, we go around the circle and state our goals: One wants more balance in life; another is affirming good health and a sleeker body. One is ready to find true and passionate love -- hey, maybe she'll want me to perform her wedding ceremony. You bet I will!!

I spend a few minutes talking about how to create a Treasure Map, and then we start. Cutting and pasting and laughing and eating and creating and believing that we can be/do/have whatever we can envision!

(No, it isn't "make-believe" or "magic." It's the power of intention and the law of attraction and positive thinking. But that's another blog topic for the future. However, if you're interested in learning more now, I highly recommend Maria Nemeth's book, "The Energy of Money." A truly life-changing book.)

My own affirmation: I am thriving, spiritually and economically, in my successful, dynamic ministry! (Can you find those words in my poster?!) I included personal photos, pictures from magazines, and "feeling words" to describe how I will feel as I realize my goals.

We end the day with another fun exercise. I hand out big (12-inch) balloons and ask everyone to inflate them. "And as you blow up that balloon, imagine that you are releasing any fears or thoughts that might limit your ability to have what you've created."

And then we BLOW UP that "I can't" energy by popping our balloons! (One friend -- Anna -- barely inflated her balloon. She said she didn't have much "I can't" energy to release. YAY!)

Like kindergarten students, we all eagerly show off our posters, and promise to encourage each other (vocally and with positive thoughts) as we manifest our dreams.

This morning Anna (The Dove Lady from Whitebird Ceremonial Dove Releases) sent me an email, and with her permission I quote:

"Thank YOU!! for setting aside such a huge chunk of your day to guide us on this path. I think I've told you before that I think about goals ONCE A YEAR! At your house! . . . Guess I've just been lucky. But, yes, GRATITUDE is my new mantra, and it really didn't hit me until you gave us the balloons. Am I in denial? I really tried to think of some 'cant's' in my life, but I just think 'wants' obliterate 'cant's'."

Gratitude. Ah, yes.

That's my benediction ... on this year's Treasure Map, and for today's post. Gratitude.

"Thank you, God!"

I Am Thriving . . . .

Namaste,
Rev. Jeri