New Year's Resolutions ... two lists

I found this in my inbox this morning. It's timely.

Let's DO it!

http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2008/16540.html

Many blessings,
Rev. Jeri

Happy Holidays!

And may we ALL be blessed with peace, prosperity, and LOVE!

I'm affirming a wonderful 2009!

Blessings,
Jeri

Reunion.com? No way!

One of my friends invited me to join "Reunion.com" and I did -- and it sent out an "invitation to join" to everyone in my address book.

I am SO SORRY! I immediately canceled my connection but, alas, not before many spam-like "invitations" were sent out to my friends, colleagues and business associates.

If YOU got an invitation to join, please forgive me.

Chagrined,
Rev. Jeri

A new photo!

I recently performed a ceremony for two delightful gentlemen, Leon and Carlos. The weather was COLD, but their guests were so excited and happy for this couple that we soon forgot the temperature!

We did have one small challenge, though -- Leon is a wedding photographer, and it was sometimes difficult for him to "give up the reins" of business and enjoy being a groom! He did, however, and he's promised me some photos of the wedding -- which I will post on my blog and include in my book.

As a special thank you, Leon offered to take formal portrait of me. I love it, and just couldn't wait to post it, so here it is!

(How did he inspire my best smiles? Rather than asking me to say "Cheese," he said, "Say 'I do!'" Hmmmm ... guess I'm in the right business!)

And if you want to see more of his work, follow this link: Fredette Photography.

Thank you, Leon! And ... congratulations, Leon and Carlos!

Big smiles!
Rev. Jeri

Another type of "celebration"

Not only do I perform weddings, but occasionally I am asked to officiate at a "celebration of life" or memorial service. I had the opportunity to perform such a service at Sierra View Funeral Chapel on Friday evening.

While this is always a humbling experience, Friday's celebration of life included a beautiful "extra touch."

One of my wedding colleagues, David Van Enger of Music in Motion, prepared a DVD of photos of the deceased, matched with the "perfect" music as background. What a blessing for everyone in attendance, to see the photos of this beautiful lady. I hope to see more photo DVDs in the future.

After the service, the family and friends spent some time at Sierra View, eating and visiting. This family was from out-of-town, and I am not sure where they got the food.

However, I know that Hannibal's Catering has wonderful food and offers special all-inclusive packages for memorials and funerals. My friend, Jennifer Baker, recently joined the Hannibal's team as an Event Coordinator. She treated me to lunch and, as a vegan, I was delightfully surprised at the choices I had. Yummy Food!! Give it a try! And if you visit the Rancho Cordova location, please tell Jennifer I sent you!

Blessings,
Rev. Jeri

Making Your Ceremony Your Own

I just picked up the Winter/Spring 2009 issue of Real Weddings magazine and ... I'm published!

Editor Wendy Sipple invited me to write a brief article about "making your ceremony your own." (Who knew it would be such a challenge to keep it to 500 words or less!!)

Anyhow, you can find the article on page 34 of the magazine, with some ideas gleaned from brides with whom I've worked recently.

(I could share the ideas here, but would rather you get your hands on a copy of the magazine. Lots of great ideas therein!)

The photo, showing me performing the wedding ceremony of Katherine "Ryn" and Daniel Gumpert, was taken by Sarah Maren Photography. She's a delight to work with! And do you recognize the bride? Ryn and Daniel were mentioned previously in my blog, when I commended them for donating to the Make a Wish Foundation.

So, now that I've written the article, I'd like feedback. What did you think of the ideas presented? And, do you have other suggestions that weren't mentioned? I'm always looking for ways to improve, making the ceremony extra special for the couple.

I'll be watching for your good advice!

Blessings,
Rev. Jeri

A Prayer for Thanksgiving

"Prayer"
by Maya Angelou

Father, Mother, God,
Thank you for your presence
during the hard and mean days.
For then we have you to lean upon.

Thank you for your presence
during the bright and sunny days,
for then we can share that which we have
with those who have less.

And thank you for your presence
during the Holy Days, for then we are able
to celebrate you and our families
and our friends.

For those who have no voice,
we ask you to speak.

For those who feel unworthy,
we ask you to pour your love out
in waterfalls of tenderness.

For those who live in pain,
we ask you to bathe them
in the river of your healing.

For those who are lonely, we ask
you to keep them company.

For those who are depressed,
we ask you to shower upon them
the light of hope.

Dear Creator,
You, the borderless sea of substance,
we ask you to give to all the world
that which we need most --
Peace.

Four and a half years ...

I love to make Treasure Maps. I do one every year with a group of wonderful women.

A few years ago, I took a serious look at what I wanted in a relationship, and then I created a Treasure Map. "I am Thriving in my Loving Relationship" was in the center of the Map. I wanted to find the love of my life.

And four and a half years ago, after trading emails on Match.Com for a few days, I agreed to meet "DRRB" at the movie theater in Arden Fair Mall.

We shook hands upon first greeting -- I knew right away he was someone special. We hugged at the end of our movie date, and agreed to see each other again. And again. And again!

And today is the 54-month anniversary of that movie date.

Thank you, God, for this wonderful love!

And thank you, Rich, for being such an amazing part of my life!

Jeri

Saddened ...

I am so sorry to see that the California voters have adopted Prop. 8, and chosen to ban same-sex marriages. I believe the heavy fear tactics used by the "Yes on 8" backers caused this unfortunate decision.

Many years ago I was introduced to A Course in Miracles, and learned one of THE most important lessons of my life. To paraphrase, love and fear cannot coexist; we either approach (and respond to) situations from a foundation of love, or from a foundation of fear.

I believe fear is the motivator that approved Prop. 8.

I will continue to greet life from a love-based perspective. I believe that's what my higher power expects of me.

I will continue to treat people the way I want to be treated. (The Golden Rule has always been my credo.)

And yes, that means I will continue to perform ceremonies for same-sex couples.

Love is love. And it does not discriminate. Nor will I.

Sincerest blessings,
Rev. Jeri

Make a Wish

Katherine and Daniel got married on Saturday, October 18, 2008.

Theirs was a lovely ceremony (in my humble opinion!)

Their reception included some familiar ideas: Tables named for favorite restaurants, bottles of wine as favors, gorgeous orange stargazer lilies and roses.

There were also some unique elements, my favorite of which was the memory board with photos of their parents and each set of grandparents on their respective wedding days. (Daniel and Katherine have a legacy of longevity in marriage, and we thanked their parents for their example during the ceremony.)

But there was something in their printed program that really caught my attention. I was so impressed, that I want to share it here ... and maybe someone else will use this idea in the future. (I believe that's "paying it forward.")

On the last page of the program, Katherine and Daniel said, "In honor of all our guests here today, we have made a charitable donation to the Make-A-Wish foundation. This gift will help make a special child's wish come true. Thank you for helping us make our wishes come true and joining us on our wedding day."

What a beautiful idea.

And ... congratulations to the newlyweds, Katherine and Daniel!

... and I'll be bossy ...

Rehearsals are an important part of wedding preparation. Not only does the rehearsal allow the couple, and the bridal party, to practice "getting to the altar," but it also allows the participants to get caught up in the emotion, or make mistakes, prior to the ceremony.

For instance, the father of the bride may be surprised to become misty-eyed as he answers the question, "Who presents this woman in marriage?" (And if his eyes are full of tears, he may accidentally step on the bride's train. Oh, no!)

Or, the maid of honor may drop the wedding ring. If happens during rehearsal, with the "practice ring," we all get to laugh and say, "Well, at least we got that mishap out of the way!"

I'm very hands-on as an officiant. I enjoy conducting the rehearsal, not only to make sure that everyone knows what they're going to do on wedding day, but also so I get to meet the family and key participants. If the groomsmen like to kid around, or the flower girl is going to cry and refuse to walk down the aisle, I like to know ahead of time.

So I always start the rehearsal by introducing myself and the purpose. "Hello! My name is Reverend Jeri Murphy, and I have the honor of officiating at tomorrow's wedding ceremony. And today, I am going to be a little bossy."

So there. I've told everyone that if they don't pay attention, I'll get after them. Not so much because I like to be in control -- LOL! -- but, as I tell them, "I want to make sure that the bride and groom are so comfortable with what is going to happen on their wedding day, that they are not thinking about where people stand, or what comes next. They are only thinking, 'I am so glad to be here, marrying the love of my life.'"

This past Thursday, Rachelle and Andrew and a few of their dear friends and family members gathered at Frasinetti's Winery in Sacramento for rehearsal. There were stairs to be gracefully climbed, candles to be lit, rings to be exchanged, a kiss to be practiced (and practiced, and practiced; yay!) ... and we practiced, questioned, adjusted, and practiced again until Andrew and Rachelle felt comfortable. (We even talked about what we would do if the train came by during the ceremony. It did, and we were prepared!)

Due to our preparation, and because Andrew and Rachelle are such a perfect match, Friday's wedding went without a hitch -- except, or course, for the "I now pronounce you husband and wife" hitch.

Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Weiss!

Ooops!

I'm pretty good at putting a "positive spin" on most wedding mishaps: Rain, on the East Coast, means "blessings raining down from heaven." If the candles don't stay lit during the candle lighting ceremony, we "use our imagination." You get the picture.

However, I have no idea how I would handle this ... hopefully, I'll never have to find out!

http://www.metacafe .com/watch/ 1869054/best_ man_makes_ the_worst_ mistake/

Giggling,
Rev. Jeri

Love is love

Wow! What a wonderful Saturday for weddings!

October 11, 2008 was the wedding day for two beautiful couples: Sam and Robyn, who were married at Orchard Creek Lodge, Sun City Lincoln Hills, and Deborah and Amy, who were married at Old St. Mary's Chapel in Rocklin.

And these two couples had one very important commonality: Sam and Robyn have been a couple for nearly 20 years; Deborah and Amy for over 12 years. The strength of their commitment, in spite of the many challenges they have faced as same-sex couples, is an inspiration to me. I hope that all the couples whose weddings I perform will have as much love, commitment, fortitude and joy as these four ladies.

My own belief: God does not discriminate. And neither does love. And that's why I'm delighted and honored to perform the ceremonies that "legalize" their love.

And that's the closest to a political statement I will make on this blog. I promise!

Blessings,
Rev. Jeri

AFWPI and networking

Although I think of myself as a friendly person, my "shy" side emerges whenever I attend a networking function. Perhaps it's my middle-aged memory that trips me up, or the fact that I get a little tongue-tied when meeting new people in the wedding business. Whatever the reason, networking isn't my forte.

However, I do enjoy attending the AFWPI monthly mixers, where I get to connect with other wedding vendors and, often, put faces with the names of people with whom I swap emails!

This Tuesday's mixer was held at Le Rivage, a new wedding site on the river -- in the south part of Sacramento, off I-5. I had arranged to meet my new friend, Della (a new wedding officiant), at the mixer and introduce her to some of the AFWPI members. So many friendly people came over to say hello to us; I hope Della enjoyed meeting them. (And if she remembers ANY of their names, she gets extra memory points!)

The weather was perfect, the music was provided by a live jazz band, Caribbean Jazz Q-tet, with Emcee duties going to Music on the Move, another of my favorite DJ companies. (Doug, Doug and Dara are some of the most fun and professional DJs I've ever worked with! PLUS, they always provide me with a great sound system, so all the guests can hear my ceremonies. Thanks, Music on the Move!)

The mixer was also an opportunity for me to catch up on some business news ... Shannon has moved over to Le Rivage, as has Kellie; Amanda goes on maternity leave in about a month; videographer Eric Leas (of Acti-Video Productions) and his lovely wife expect their baby early in November. Lots of news to catch up on!

The food was provided by Scott's Seafood, which is affiliated with Le Rivage. (As a vegan, I didn't eat anything ... but saw many big smiles by those who were eating. Looked like an endorsement of the food!)

So ... this month's networking was a fun experience. I really, really enjoy so many of the members of AFWPI -- both as great people and as professionals. And as always, I am so glad I attended the mixer!

For anyone planning a wedding, be sure to look at AFWPI's website for a directory of great wedding professionals! (And don't forget to check out the "links" page on my website: www.RevJeriMurphy.com. If they're on my list, they're professionals who do great work!)

Rain, Rain, Stay Away!

Despite the weather forecasters' warnings of rain, yesterday was a beautiful day for weddings!

Lou-Anne and Sarah had an intimate and beautiful ceremony at the Radisson Hotel in Sacramento. It was an elegant black and white affair. They presented their lovely mothers with red roses during the ceremony, as an expression of love and appreciation. Tears flowed; it was very touching. Although the candle lighting portion of the ceremony was a challenge during rehearsal -- we were outside and the wind was a little too boisterous! -- it was a breeze (no pun intended!) during the ceremony, held inside the Radisson.

Two beautiful ladies, joined in heart and soul, and now legally wed!

Later in the day, I drove to Sunset Whitney Country Club in Rocklin to perform the wedding ceremony for Kari and Clint. We were delighted when the sun peeked out from between clouds. A little bit of humor, and a few tears, during the short ceremony kept everyone's attention. (Thanks to Mr. DJ Mike Ragan for providing the sound -- and later the entertainment!)

And Clint and Kari are newly-wed!

Happy Anniversary, Carl and Nicole!

October 2, 2007 was a beautiful, cool Tuesday morning.

I met Carl and Nicole at the Lyons Lake trail head (in Desolation Wilderness). We checked our gear -- lunch, enough water, wedding ceremony binder, Native American wedding vase -- and then began our adventure. A wedding hike, to Lyons Lake!

It was a great and invigorating hike. We stopped periodically, not only to catch our breath, but also to enjoy the beautiful scenery. Two hours later, after reaching our destination, we changed into our wedding clothes, set up the video camera, took a deep breath (!!), and had a wedding ceremony!

Nicole had purchased a hand-made, one-of-a-kind Native American Wedding Vase (which Carl carefully carried up in his backpack), and we incorporated a water ritual in the ceremony.

The vase has two spouts, one from which Nicole drank, and one from which Carl drank during the ceremony -- in that order. It is symbolic of them becoming one in marriage, and represents the love and strength of their union. The vase is kept secure for the duration of the marriage, and later passed along to another couple with the wish that their marriage will be strong as well.

To quote from the ceremony: "The vase is unique, just as your love for each other is unlike any other. May it always be a symbol of your love and all that you hope for in the strong marriage you will build together. May you always do your best to keep this vase safe, secure and unbroken, just as you will cherish and safeguard your loving relationship with each other."

Because we were the only three present, Carl made a video of the ceremony to share with their guests during the reception to be held a few days later. (It was a unique experience for me, talking to the camera rather than an audience!)

After changing back into our hiking clothes and enjoying a quiet, reflective lunch, we hiked back down to our cars. It was a beautiful day; an experience I will never forget!

Happy 1st Anniversary, Carl and Nicole!

Jeri

Hello!

My name is Rev. Jeri Murphy, and I live in Northern California. I have the most wonderful "job" -- I perform wedding ceremonies, baby blessings, memorials / celebrations of life, and other special ceremonies.

I am a non-denominational minister. As I tell couples, what that means is that I have no "agenda" about what must (or cannot) be included. Together, we create ceremonies that are reflective of them and their vision of their marriage.

I have been performing weddings for over eight years, and have officiated at 300-plus. I work with couples from all walks of life, performing the ceremony that starts them on their marital journey. I also have the privilege of blessing their babies, their homes, their swimming pools (!!) and, in general, staying connected.

It is my intent, through this blog, to share some highlights from the ceremonies I perform. I also want to acknowledge some of the awesome wedding professionals, mostly in the Sacramento area, with whom I love working. (For a more complete list, please visit my website www.RevJeriMurphy.com and check out the preferred vendors on my "Links" page.

I may periodically ask questions and solicit input from others. For instance, I am currently researching the Japanese sake ceremony called "san-san-kudo," which will be included in a wedding ceremony I will perform in November. (If any of you have seen or heard a beautiful version of this ceremony, I would love to hear from you. Please feel free to leave a comment on this post, or send me an email: RevJeriMurphy@sbcglobal.net)

I am also an avid amateur photographer, and I will be sharing some of my favorite photos: wedding-related, travel, scenic, etc. I'm a little obsessed with my photos; I hope you will enjoy them!

I am a novice blogger, so I hope you will be indulgent as I begin this journey!

Hugs and blessings,
Rev. Jeri