Love is such a big word ....

I'm in the business of Love.

As a Wedding Officiant, I have the honor of speaking the words that publicly acknowledge the love and commitment between two people.

As a Funeral Officiant (or "minister who presides over a celebration of life"), I have the honor of speaking on behalf of those who love the deceased, offering some comfort and inspiring hope.

As a spiritual teacher, I have the honor of connecting with people -- friends, family and, sometimes, near-strangers -- to remind them that they are spirits in bodies, loved and lovable.

As for myself ... well, lately I have been dong a lot of reading to remind myself of why I'm here. And it all comes back to one concept: LOVE.

Many years ago I realized that one of the main purposes of life -- for me, at least -- is to learn about love, how to truly love myself, and how to fully and unconditionally love someone else. (Of course, I had already experienced the unconditional love that a mother has for her children. And I knew there was more to it than that.)

Meeting Rich, my Anam Cara, was an important step on my path. Loving him, passionately, in good times and in challenges, was a HUGE opportunity for growth in my life. Even in the "bad times," I knew that how I "showed up" in our relationship was a hugely important step on my life path. And I made a conscious decision to show up and work through the times that were uncomfortable to me, because I knew our love was worth it, and because I knew it was something I had "come here to experience."

"Losing" Rich was another huge step, as I came to know, deep in my soul -- not just believe but KNOW -- that his love for me, and my love for him, goes on even though he no longer has a physical body.

Of course, what my soul knows and what my body experiences are not always exactly aligned. So I've turned to my own spiritual tools: Meditation, journaling, seeking out the counsel of my very wise friends, and reading. In this process, I have "remembered" many of my own spiritual truths; concepts that the Core of my Being has always known.

And ... I have been reminded that I am a spiritual teacher, and that it is good for me to share my thoughts with others. NOT that I have the definitive truth; however, maybe as I share my thoughts I will inspire, comfort and lift up someone. What more could I ask?

I write all this as a warning, of sorts, to the handful of people who read my blog posts. Periodically -- not all the time, but periodically -- I am going to write about those things that are deeply dear to my heart. Sometimes it may seem a little "raw." I won't apologize; it's where and who I am.

If the sharing of my thoughts helps or comforts someone, or causes them to search their own hearts and souls for their own truths, then I will feel as though I'm doing what I'm meant to do.

I will finish, tonight, with two thoughts.

As Kobi Yamada says, "Love is such a big word, it really should have more letters."

And in the immortal words of John and Paul, "All you need is love."

RJM

... and I'll be bossy ...

Rehearsals are an important part of wedding preparation. Not only does the rehearsal allow the couple, and the bridal party, to practice "getting to the altar," but it also allows the participants to get caught up in the emotion, or make mistakes, prior to the ceremony.

For instance, the father of the bride may be surprised to become misty-eyed as he answers the question, "Who presents this woman in marriage?" (And if his eyes are full of tears, he may accidentally step on the bride's train. Oh, no!)

Or, the maid of honor may drop the wedding ring. If happens during rehearsal, with the "practice ring," we all get to laugh and say, "Well, at least we got that mishap out of the way!"

I'm very hands-on as an officiant. I enjoy conducting the rehearsal, not only to make sure that everyone knows what they're going to do on wedding day, but also so I get to meet the family and key participants. If the groomsmen like to kid around, or the flower girl is going to cry and refuse to walk down the aisle, I like to know ahead of time.

So I always start the rehearsal by introducing myself and the purpose. "Hello! My name is Reverend Jeri Murphy, and I have the honor of officiating at tomorrow's wedding ceremony. And today, I am going to be a little bossy."

So there. I've told everyone that if they don't pay attention, I'll get after them. Not so much because I like to be in control -- LOL! -- but, as I tell them, "I want to make sure that the bride and groom are so comfortable with what is going to happen on their wedding day, that they are not thinking about where people stand, or what comes next. They are only thinking, 'I am so glad to be here, marrying the love of my life.'"

This past Thursday, Rachelle and Andrew and a few of their dear friends and family members gathered at Frasinetti's Winery in Sacramento for rehearsal. There were stairs to be gracefully climbed, candles to be lit, rings to be exchanged, a kiss to be practiced (and practiced, and practiced; yay!) ... and we practiced, questioned, adjusted, and practiced again until Andrew and Rachelle felt comfortable. (We even talked about what we would do if the train came by during the ceremony. It did, and we were prepared!)

Due to our preparation, and because Andrew and Rachelle are such a perfect match, Friday's wedding went without a hitch -- except, or course, for the "I now pronounce you husband and wife" hitch.

Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Weiss!