A special thank you ...

Sometimes I get the nicest surprises in my email inbox:

7/26/10

Hello Reverend Jeri,

I am Rachael's father and I just wanted to thank you for the wonderful wedding ceremony you conducted. I didn't have the chance on the day of the wedding to thank you as they swooshed us off to take pictures and by the time that was done you had already left, no doubt to cool down!

Your ceremony was unique and touched my wife and myself as to how important and sacred the wedding vows are.

Thank you again for your efforts,

Don

Thank you for taking the time to write, Don. It was my delight and honor to perform Rachael and Christopher's ceremony!

Rev. Jeri

Promises and Vows

The wedding ceremonies I write usually include "promises" and "vows." Periodically I've been asked to explain the difference; I've given a sufficient response.

However, I found the following explanation in Caroline Myss' book, "Entering the Castle" and I really like it.

She's talking to her 13-year old niece, Rachel, who asked about the difference between promises and vows.

Caroline says, " ... promises are agreements that [you] as a person make between [yourself] and [your] friends and family. They are agreements of honor. When you break a promise, the part of you that lets you known you've broken your word is called your conscience.

"Unlike a promise ... a vow is an agreement that your soul makes with God. You make a vow when you are ready to make a commitment to live your life a certain way. Even in cases where you make a vow to another person, you are also making an agreement with God, so a vow is sacred and therefore has cosmic consequences that promises do not. Vows are so powerful ... that most people can live up to the demands of only one or two vows at the most over the course of their entire lives. When and if the time came for [Rachel] to make a vow, she would have to make certain that her soul was in complete agreement with all that the vows would require of her."

(Photo by Bakari, Lifetime Photography)

Rev. Jeri

Vows ... still meaningful after all these years?

This evening I attended a networking mixer for AFWPI (Association for Wedding Professionals International) at the Old Sugar Mill in Clarksburg. While I'm not really fond of "networking" per se, I do enjoy "visiting" with my colleagues, and I was glad to have the opportunity to connect with friends tonight.

One highlight was my delightful chat with Shannon Cosgrove-Rivas, of Flourish, and her hubby, Jim. As she posted on Facebook today, she recently came across the personal vows she wrote for their wedding back in 1994.

Naturally, I was interested in hearing more, since Vows are such an important part of what I do.

Shannon and Jim said that they sat down together and talked about what they wanted to say to each other in their vows. Then they wrote the beginning and the end of their vows together; they each personalized the "middle" part of the vows, which they didn't share until their wedding day. What a beautiful idea!

And they kept a copy, so when they renew their vows in five years (on their 20th anniversary), they'll be able to use their original vows. (I'm sure they'll add a bit; imagine how much their love and commitment has grown in the past 15-years-plus-two-kids.)

One thing I really loved about Shannon and Jim's story is that, back in 1994, they did exactly what I encourage couples to do today: Sit down with each other and talk about what is important to each of you to say (and hear) in your vows.

Of course, many (if not most) couples choose to "repeat after me" rather than write their own original vows. Which is still beautiful, especially if they've thoughtfully chosen to repeat vows that are meaningful to them.

(Post-wedding, I always send a copy of their vows to the newlyweds, with the encouragement that they "renew" their vows annually by saying them aloud to each other on each anniversary. )

Thank you, Shannon and Jim, for sharing your story. I'm eager to see your vows ... and, as promised, I won't post them!

PS: I don't have any recent photos of Shannon's floral art. Check out her website for some stunning stuff!!

Hugs,
Rev. Jeri